Goda & varma vantar väntar!

-Shit!  

 
Expressions and phrases containing this word have been seen and heard, appearing rather frequently,
 through the years, especially in everyday American English, and they have become pretty popular even "on the international scene".
Strangely enough the word 'shit' has become increasingly "popular"
and adopted even in other languages than English, e.g. Danish and Swedish.
Now we can assume that most readers and listeners are aware of the original meaning of the word
 and it is therefore somewhat surprising to find the widespread use of this word still "on the rise"....
 to be "Up shit's creek" or to be "in deep shit" or whenever something goes wrong it's simply "Shit!"
 not to mention a classic from the movies: -"Now the shit has really hit the fan!"-.
There are numerous expressions actually... "so don't give me that shit!" "Bring the shit over here!"
 "Shit, I'm telling you!" ... and last but not least, a prize-winner: "This is good shit!".
There are even alternatives for committed or religious people such as "Holy shit!".
In some environments the word 'shit' is used instead of drugs or a drug name
 (narcotics, opium, heroin, crack, marijuana, dope, amphetamine, morphine etc).
När det gäller engelskan, likväl som många andra språk,
så har både uttalet och stavningen avsevärd betydelse.
Att, som vissa anser, påstå att uttalet inte är så viktigt, eller att stavningen inte är så viktig,
 är både okunnigt, omdömeslöst och synnerligen oansvarigt.
 Det är beklämmande att man även i skolans värld ibland kan få höra synpunkter av detta slag,
 tursamt nog vanligast i de lägre stadierna men icke desto mindre fatalt.
Här skulle kunna skrivas spaltmetrar kring denna omständighet,
men jag nöjer mig här med en "lånad" klassisk artikel som dykt upp emellanåt inom engelsk språkvetenskap,
framförallt i de nordiska länderna.
To say that this (story) stinks may simply be a case of understatement.
 However, to some people there'll be plenty of laughter.
Depending upon your English vocabulary, there will undoubtedly be more than two instances below
where you can both enjoy and dwell on the mistakes done by somebody else.

Enjoy!


To: The Manager of Y.M.C.A.
Hotel Manhattan
[Roma 28 September, 1987]






Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-younga christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with no shit in my bed? 
 So I calla down to receptione and tella.-"I wanta shit."
They tella me: -"Go to toilet."
I say: -"No, no I wanta shit in my bed.
"They say: -"You'd better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch."

I go down for breakfast into restorante.
I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast.
I gotta only one piss of toast.
 I tella waitress and point at toast:-"I wanta piss."

She tella me: -"Go to toilet."
I say: -"No, I wanta piss on my plate.
"She then say to me: -"You'd bloody wella not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch."

That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna-wa-bitch",
and why is your staff replying "go to toilet"?
Is that a modern tella?
 I do not understand, please tella me!

Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock.
I tella waitress.-"I wanta fock."
And she tella me: -"Sure, everyone wanta fock."

I tella her: -"No, you don't understand me, I wanta fock on the table."
She tella me: -"So you sonna-wa-bitch want a fock on the table?
Get your ass out of here!"

How comma this christian hotella tella the guest in such bed manner?
So I go to rezeptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotella no more.

When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: -"Thank you, and piss on you."
-I say: -"Piss on you too you sonna-wa-bitch, I now go back to Italy."

-Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch."

-Sincerely Dicci Elgré
 

Editor's remark:
Naturally, it's not far fetched
 but this could've been written by anybody
who doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground,
as some Texans would probably phrase it.

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